Terkesan

There is time when you feel you are so bad. You used to do many stupid things in your life that today, you regret about it. The time when you still have a very immature mind and soul. You annoyed when some people come and ask you to do this to do that which are actually the best for you. They come to guide you to the right path. But you ignore.

Maybe pada masa tu otak kau tak berfungsi dengan baik. Well hidayah milik Allah. Bagi aku, datanglah manusia yang baik sekalipun untuk betulkan hidup aku, if I'm not open my heart and my eyes, it nothing. It's started with me, myself. I still remember, it 2013 when I was a fifth former, I went for a school trip with my gang, two of us didn't jointed it. They were Iqa and Pipah. Iqa didn't jointed us because her dad did not allowed to do so while Pipah because she had debate competition.
When they sent us at the bus, we hugged each other and of course kiss here and there (like typical girls doing  lewls). When it came to me-Iqa, she hugged me so tight. So tight. I realized it then suddenly she whispered at my ears,

"Hajar, jaga pakaian. Jaga aurat"

I'm just speechless. I don't know why at that time, i can feel her sincerity. Aku tak rasa macam kena sindir pun bahkan aku rasa macam omaigod Iqa I wanna cry. Tapi masa tu aku still tak jaga aurat. Deep in my heart, benda ni terkesan but I didn't took action.

What i mean about my aurat is, aku tak seksi pun actually if compared to others. Aku just tak pakai stokin and aku suka sinsing lengan sebab panas and senang nak buat kerja. Tudung takyah cakap la, asal tak nampak rambut, kira dah cun la tu. Dada tak tutup !

Masuk matriculation baru aku start berjinak-jinak nak cover aurat completely tapi kadang-kadang iman aku jatuh jugak. I love reading islamik, motivations book. I love searching on blogs and YouTube channel as well. I love talking about ketuhanan tapi aku tak buat all that things. Ni yang aku maksudkan only me who can change myself. Aku minta ampun ya Allah.

I want to change. To be a better person. Membesar dengan sihat dan kuat. Membesar dengan redha Allah dan redha kedua ibu bapa. Ampunkan aku ya Allah for my wrongdoing. Keep me on the right track. Didik hati supaya istikhomah :)

p/s : random. atas katil sambil telinga sumbat earphone.